I get a lot of people asking to publish their content on my website. Why they think their drivel is more valuable than my domain is beyond me. Today’s request is really a masterpiece in how not to suck at asking for a guest blog.
I am in two minds here. Do I show the full email or remove their name and website? Hmmmm.
Here it is. Added some *’s to disguise the Blogger.
Hello Admin,
Hope you are doing great..!!!
I am Alice M*s*n,Writer and Blogger.
I was gone through some of the sites yesterday , from there I came across your site and I read your site thoroughly. I came to know that you are also accepting guest post so that I am pitching you to share some new and unique ideas with your readers.
I like your blog very much and also wondering to be a part of your blog by sharing my articles on your blog.
I have articles on “Health” and I like to publish my articles on your blog. Please let me know your response so that I can send you a draft for review. If you need, you can check my articles on this sites :
“http://thespiritualhealth.
com/the-benefits-of-the-daily- prayer/” “thespiritualhealth.com/what-
are-the-ultimate-benefits-of- creatine-kinase/“. Please review the links and let me know your response ASAP.
Waiting for your quick and positive response.Thanks
Alice M*s*n
So, where did Alice go wrong?
Everybloodywhere!
My name is not admin. This would be really apparent to anybody who had looked at the site she was referring to (hint – not this site, but one related to healthy living).
Writer and Blogger? OK, good on a CV, maybe, or LinkedIn. But in an intro? Nah. I want to hear about skills and qualifications, e.g. I am a registered dietician and triathlete. That would be interesting person to have writing for me.
“I was gone through some of the sites yesterday , from there I came across your site and I read your site thoroughly.”
First line is poorly written, has double spaces in sentences, space before a comma, and makes little sense. Reads like crap and stinks of bullshit.
“I like your blog very much”.
This is the guest blogging equivalent of “Me love you long time”
But the Pièce de résistance are the examples. “The Benefits of the Daily Prayer”. Ignoring the fact that it looks like they bought the web template from a eight year old on Fiverr, what a bizarre article to choose to give as an example. My health site attempts to cut out all the BS from health, and releigion certainly has no part (other than the importance of positive thinking in performance and the placebo effect of course).
But even that article is total nonsense.
“finishing it off with a daily prayer can be as relaxing and as re-energizing as a hot bath or even a short nap.”
Apart from being utter bollocks, why would anybody wish to finish off the day with a something akin to a power nap? Surely that would leave you suffering from insomnia.
This article was such tripe that I almost forgot to read their insightful review of creatine kinase, which is on the same website. This is more on topic, so lets see how good this expert in nutrition is….
Well, the article is poorly written drivel, with insights such as “CK plays a vital role in increasing hormonal growth to a greater extent” and “It truly adds up to speed and strength to recover number of diseases such as muscle atrophy, dystrophy and can also interact with caffeine and alcohol.”
But the most intriguing part is the author bio line:
“Steve Broomes is a health blogger, fitness entrepreneur and also works as a gym instructor”
Hey? So Alice is also called Steve?
All too confusing,
In the words of Duncan Bannatyne, I’m ooot.